Christmas cookies

Oh, hey.

I am the worst blog writer on the planet. I think I aspired to too much this Christmas and then ran out of steam. Hence, no updates. I'm pretty sure I've done nothing crafty lately.

However, Significant Other's birthday is rapidly approaching, so I'm sure I will have some cake fails to share in the near future. Also, I received a large package of cardstock and other assorted papercrafting goodies in the mail (thanks DM), so once I sit down and play around with that, I'll share.

But here are the cookies I made for annual potluck. A month and a half ago. Sorry readers.

Wine jelly

Today I present you with wine jelly, or, my scariest kitchen endeavor to date. I was trolling the Intarwebs one day and stumbled across The Simple Dollar, a personal finance blog, and now I'm hooked. The blog's author, Trent, detailed how to make wine jelly as part of his homemade Christmas gift series. Somewhere in my wormy little brain, a lightbulb went on and I thought to myself, "I could do that!"

Backstory: My only other jelly making experience dates back to when I was about nine or so, and I was in 4H, a group I seriously did not belong in because I would have rather been outside getting dirty than inside learning how to cook and sew. I think jelly-making night turned into my-mother-wondering-why-I-couldn't-be-Susie-Homemaker night.

Here is what you need to make wine jelly:

3 1/2 cups wine (TSD says that a normal sized bottle of wine will yield about three cups, so you can substitute grape juice for the rest; I avoided this problem by buying a large bottle)
1/2 cup lemon juice
1 package dry pectin
4 1/2 cups granulated sugar


Combine the wine, lemon juice and pectin in a pot and bring it to a boil.

This is the part where disaster struck. My wine mixture boiled over. I turned down the heat and took the pot off the burner for a minute until it settled down, then I tried again, but a minute later I smelled pure burning. I had to scramble around to turn on the fan and open a window, so there are no pictures of the actual jelly-making process. If anyone knows how to clean this up:

...let me know.

Once the wine mixture is boiling, add the sugar in and boil it some more, making sure to stir it until the sugar dissolves.

Next, ladle the jelly into jars (make sure you have sterilized the jars first). Leave about half an inch from the top, and put the lids on. Then, put the jars into boiling water for about five minutes to seal them up.

If you have survived, you now have more wine jelly than you will ever know what to do with! Put your jars in the fridge to keep them delicious.

 Here is my finished product to give as a gift.

Lightbulb ornaments

When Significant Other and I moved into the apartment together, I brought a couple of lamps from home to put in our office. I didn't realize that there was a ceiling light (with a CFL bulb!) in there already, so I had a box of lightbulbs sitting in the closet that were going to go to waste.

And then I discovered Etsy and saw this, and a la Adam Richman said, "Oh my goodness, oh my goodness!"

So, I present you with lightbulb ornaments.

First, I took a lightbulb (these are cheap ones from Walmart, I think they cost $0.88 for a box of four) and wrapped some wire around the threaded part. Finding an effective way to do it was frustrating, but the whole thing becomes much sturdier once you tie a ribbon on.

Next, I used paint pens to draw some snowflakes on the lightbulb.

Then I tied some ribbon around the threaded part, hiding the wire that is looped around it. I found the whole spool for 60% off at Michael's; it cost me $0.80.

The finished product.

Orange chocolates

Today I decided to attempt making orange chocolates. This is my mother's recipe; I made them a few times with her when I was younger. Let me rephrase that: This is almost my mother's recipe; I have cleaned it up a bit. My mother's recipes are really meant for just my mother and are indecipherable to the average person. Steps are frequently skipped, ingredients are sometimes not listed and then appear randomly in the procedure, etc. (My sister and I once spent an entire evening trying to translate her Babka recipe, who knows if it would make an edible loaf of bread.)

1 package (11.5 ounces) milk chocolate chips
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup whipping cream
1 teaspoon grated orange peel
2 1/2 teaspoons orange extract

Coating:
1 cup milk chocolate chips
2 tablespoons shortening


Place package of milk chocolate chips and semi-sweet chocolate chips in mixing bowl. In sauce pan, bring cream and orange peel to a gentle boil. Let stand one minute. Whisk with chips until smooth. Add orange extract.

I had to stick this in the microwave for 30 extra seconds, the whipping cream/orange peel mixture melted some of the chocolate chips, but not all.



Cover and chill for 35 minutes or until thickened. Beat 10-15 seconds or just until lightened. Spoon rounded teaspoons onto wax papered baking sheet. Chill for five minutes.

This is the roundest I could make them. They are rather lumpy. I stuck them in the freezer for a few minutes because our apartment tends to be a little warm and I knew that the colder they were, the easier it would be to work with them later.

 Shape into balls.

In microwave, melt shortening and milk chocolate chips together. Stir until smooth.

Be careful! Don't leave the shortening/chocolate chip mixture in the microwave too long, or it will burn. I put it on for a minute and checked/stirred the mixture every 15 seconds or so.

Dip into chocolate coating mixture. Place on wax paper to harden. Store in refrigerator.

For whatever reason, I cannot get this picture to post right-side-up. As you can see, they don't look store-quality (in fact, they look kind of lumpy). However, they have gotten the Significant Other seal of approval. Also, I'm going to forewarn you: these are messy to make!

And to determine cost:

1 package milk chocolate chips: On sale for $2 at the local grocery store.

1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips: Roughly half the package, $1.

3/4 whipping cream: $2.99 for 16 ounces, I used 6 ounces. $1.13.

1 teaspoon grated orange peel: We had an orange sitting in our fridge, which was brought over by my boyfriend's best friend for some reason. Free.

2 1/2 teaspoons orange extract: What was originally $5.29 was knocked down to $4 with the grocery store's rewards card; the cashier gave me a $1 off coupon. $3 for 1 fluid ounce (or 6 teaspoons), 2 1/2 teaspoons cost $1.20.

1 cup milk chocolate chips: $1.

2 tablespoons shortening: 42 ounces of the store brand shortening was $4 if I remember correctly. 2 tablespoons is one ounce, we will round this off to $.10.

Total cost: $5.43

Christmas DIY adventures

Some of the Christmas DIY ideas that will make an appearance soon in @ Home With Heather:

Cutout cookies
Wine jelly (from The Simple Dollar)
Orange chocolates
Christmas cards
Magnets (from Not Martha)
Lightbulb ornaments
and my Diabolical Plan at some point (which I would post, but some surprises cannot be ruined ahead of time)

I'm pretty excited about these endeavors for a few reasons:

1.  Frugality--I discussed this with my father tonight, and broke it down something like this: I could buy six people gifts at $10 a pop, or I could make six jars of jelly:

1 bottle of wine: Approximately $10.
1/2 cup lemon juice: A 32 oz. bottle of my local supermarket's store brand costs $2.49.  1/2 cup = 4 oz., so 1/8 of $2.49 would be roughly $.32.
1 package dry pectin: A grocery shopping adventure in and of itself; I could not find this anywhere on the shelves. After two phone calls to determine where I should be looking, my worst fears were confirmed: this is a seasonal item and canning season, apparently, is over (you should normally be able to find this on the top shelf with the gelatin or in the produce section). However, my mother was kind enough to dig out a package from her pantry for me (FrugalMom stockpiles groceries). Pectin cost me $0.
4 1/2 cups granulated sugar: 4 pounds of the store brand was on sale for $2. However, pounds are a unit of weight and cups are a unit of volume. Using this handy dandy conversion chart I was able to determine that 4 1/2 cups is about 2 pounds, costing me $1 (I hope the lucky recipients of this jelly have great dental insurance).
Mason jars: Essential for the canning of the stuff; I recently saw six for $10.79 at the local grocery store. However, FrugalMom was trying to sell a bazillion of them at her garage sale and I know there are many left over. I will try to have these gifted, or buy them at a discount from her. I'm going to leave these out of the equation for now.

Total cost: $11.32

2.  Gifts with heart--I'm not just doing this because of the Scrooge factor. In Thoughts about Christmas I expressed concern about the marriage of the holiday with consumerism. My real wish is to create something that friends and family will enjoy and might remember in the future. I know some of my favorite gifts didn't add to somebody's bottom line; they were things that somebody put love into.

3. Personal growth--Growing up, the kitchen was strictly Mom's domain. Intruders were scrutinized. As a result, I never fostered an interest in cooking or baking (side note: I feel no animosity towards my mother; she's pretty awesome). Perhaps interest in a new hobby will be sparked, or I can at least develop some fundamental skills.

Mixtape: Christmas

Significant Other has been getting on me to write something about music for awhile, so I present a Christmas mixtape: 10 great songs (not a best of list, because there are too many songs to sift through), and 5 awful songs. In no particular order:


10 Great Christmas Songs

1.  Donde Esta Santa Claus? --Guster

I like to think of myself as a Gusterrhoid. I've seen six shows; the fifth show involved me spending a whole day camped in front of the radio so I could call in every hour to try to win tickets (successfully, I may add, though I won through Facebook and NOT the radio). All of this aside, this is a great Christmas song for a few reasons. One, it has a pretty groovy Latin flair and two, who wouldn't love a Christmas song by a bunch of Jewish guys?

2.  Es Ist Ein Ros' Entsprungen --Vienna Boys' Choir

For those of you who read that title and almost had a coronary, this song is known in English as "Lo! How a Rose E'er Blooming" (Sufjan Stevens' version is pretty phenomenal as well). Legend has it that there was a monk in Germany back in the day who went for a stroll in the woods at Christmastime and found a single rose blooming despite the cold weather. I don't know how accurate the story is, but it's a pretty song (yes, it's German, and yes, I assure you it is not harsh).

3.  Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairies --Lester Lanin & His Orchestra

...because more Christmas songs should be syncopated.

4.  Get Behind Me, Santa! --Sufjan Stevens

I love the entire "Songs for Christmas" box set, crafted by the musician as gifts for his friends and family but made available to the general public. It was hard to narrow it down to one song for this list, but I chose this one because sometimes Santa needs to be taken down a peg.

5.  Once In Royal David's City

A few years ago there was a commercial for a men's store that featured this song. In the commercial the song looped over and over, and played at such a frenzied speed that it sounded like it was coming from a cassette that had been jammed in the tape deck incorrectly. If I ever write a Christmas movie (which I won't), I know it would involve some sort of gag with this song playing repeatedly at very high speeds.

6.  The Twelve Days Of Christmas --The Chipmunks

Alvin facetiously states at one point in the song that he is getting tired, and I felt the same way singing this song in elementary school. And for telling the truth at the expense of the actual lyrics, I salute you, Alvin.

7.  What Child Is This?

Greensleeves with holiday themed lyrics. Fun with chromatics.

8.  Dominic The Donkey --Lou Monte

I love any song about an Italian Christmas donkey that drives my proud, meatball-eating, Christmas-loving, Italian goombah boyfriend insane. Enough said.

9.  Snoopy's Christmas --The Royal Guardsmen

For you history lovers out there. Snoopy (yes, the beagle) and the Red Baron are engaged in a dogfight on Christmas Eve during World War I. The Red Baron, at an advantage, mercifully lets Snoopy go. This is reminiscent of the soccer games that were played peacefully in No Man's Land between the Allied and Central powers.

10. Angels We Have Heard On High

...because it is so fun to belt out "GLO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OO-OOOOOORIA" as loudly and obnoxiously as possible. Which I may or may not have done as a small child during otherwise respectable church services.


5 Awful Christmas Songs

1.  Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

Trash, trash trash trash.

2.  I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

...because no kid should ever be put in the position of telling Daddy about Mommy's infidelity.

3.  All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

I actually lost my two front teeth at Christmas time, and my father never let me forget it.

4.  Baby, It's Cold Outside

I sang it in the school choir, and there was choreography involved. I just cringed a little.

5.  Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Santa never seemed so creepy until I spent some time in the car with my friend's daughter (who was three at the time). Her rendition went something like this: "You better watch out/you better watch out/SANTA IS COMING!" Plus, he watches you in your sleep.

Thoughts about Christmas

I dislike several things about Christmas, much to the chagrin of my friends and family. When pressed for my thoughts about Christmas, I usually narrow my entire dislike of the holiday down to one thing: consumerism.

This can be traced back to the epic Parking Lot Battle of 2004, my very first holiday season working in retail. It was Christmas Eve, I was supposed to be clocking into work in 10 minutes, and there was not a single vacant parking spot in sight at the gargantuan local mall, when behold!--I spotted a car's reverse lights turn on. It was beautiful.

A few other unfortunate circumstances, however, made the experience less beautiful. Gargantuan-Local-Mall's parking lots are designed for one way traffic down each aisle--and a car, coming the wrong way, sat with its blinker on, laying claim to what I felt was MY parking spot. I maintain that I was entitled to it, fair and square. I had driven the correct way down the aisle, as indicated by the arrow painted on the pavement, clear as day. I coasted into the spot, locked up my car, and was obscenely greeted by Angry Last Minute Shopper. To make this story short, and more palatable, I politely wished Angry Last Minute Shopper a happy holiday and went to work.

Angry Last Minute Shopper has been in the back of my mind every year between Black Friday and New Year's Day, through every near fender-bender, through every heated exchange I have overheard, every time I hear Duke Ellington's dizzying rendition of "Jingle Bells". There are many Angry Last Minute Shoppers in this world, myself included, who wait until the eleventh hour of the Christmas shopping season and bleed their wallets dry in the pursuit of the perfect gift for their significant others, friends and families. And how long are these "perfect gifts" remembered...or how long is it before they end up consumed and in the trash?

That is why this Christmas, I have pledged to not become Angry Last Minute Shopper. My goal is to create as many gifts that require thought and heart and a little bit of work as possible. It should be an interesting endeavor, as many of my plans require work in the kitchen, which was mostly off-limits growing up. My other plans are more crafty, but I anticipate them being tedious and I frankly have no idea how they will turn out. However, I will be documenting them religiously in order to determine what works and what does not, and hopefully by the end of this experience I can produce some DIY projects that other people would be interested in creating as well...or at least produce some entertaining stories.